bad news blues

I need a distraction from the holiday insanity, i am flying around the kitchen and finally have both ovens going so I'm taking a little time out now, i love to bake and am making some amazing cakes pies and bread for thanksgiving this year. I love cooking because it distracts me from the craziness of my family which is on terror alert orange from thanksgiving to new year every year.

somehow the holidays seem to be the worst time as far as getting bad news, when my sister who i love dearly when she was 24 years old the week before thanksgiving doctors found cancer had invaded her brain. i have mentioned her here before she is so strong and full of inspiration, grace, joy and life it radiates off of her, she endured 2 brain surgeries removing the tumors and chemotherapy and for the last 3 years has had no notable growth of the small pieces they couldn't remove completely,

she achieved her dream two years ago and has a wonderful son, she has always longed to be a mother and she is as amazing at it as i knew she would be. this year again at thanksgiving her last mri has shown two new tumors growing rapidly in the last six months. it is horrifying i am devastated and i can not stand to even consider the meaning of this news yet and if i feel crushed i cant even imagine the impact this has had on my sister and today she goes to consult with the surgeon for another go round of battling for her life.

i wont rail against the fates or scream and cry about the unfairness of cancer as it impacts all of our life's, i wont rant and rave because we all have had our own battles with this demon. i for one need a distraction badly when i am faced with things i can not handle i latch onto something i can control like planing a 6 course sit down thanksgiving dinner for 13 of my closest loved ones and as i was using the tweezers to place little rhinestones on the place cards i made i realized what i was doing was distracting myself, so for today i will cook clean and run around the house like a Martha Stewart on cocaine. i know that by Saturday i will have scrubbed the oven put up the dishes and wrapped the presents i buy black Friday so i will need another kind of distraction because the holidays are always hard cancer or not.

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